Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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