My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
