i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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