so that wasnt chicken after all
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize