Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
