somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
