Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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