I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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