Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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