dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
