What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
