Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
