How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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