so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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