Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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