his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
