What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
