I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
