I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We're facebook friends in real life
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
