I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
please come you make the beer taste better
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
