there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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