I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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