Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
