Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
