I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize