bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i need some magic done to my vagina
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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