Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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