just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Drake has all the answers
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
