This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's never too late to be topless.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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