he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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