Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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