i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You have to summon your inner elephant
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Randomize
