...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
