Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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