dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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