He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
