There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
