I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
