I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
