dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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