I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
