I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
