I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
No stitches, just platelets and will power
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
