Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
