She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize