I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
