He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
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