just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
