she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
