im having a threesome with these popsicles
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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