told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
