I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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