Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
