I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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