My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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