If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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