apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
