When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
