Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
