It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
