You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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