If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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