spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
