You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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