i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
